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My first task

For my entire life, i always had the desire to serve and to please others. i always thought this was because i was just a giving person. And now that i am older, i realize that it was much more than that to me. i was actually personally and sexually satisfied. Looking back at my life choices with partners and friends , i realize that i have always put myself into this position.
Today i had my first task to prove my worthiness as a submissive. i received my first task last night and i was so eager to complete this action of submission to the task giver . my task was to go to the store, pick out several items of clothing and take them to the dressing room.  The task was to undress and ejaculate on the mirror. i was directed no not clean it up my ejaculate and to leave the store.
i arrived to the store this morning at about 9:30 a.m. to begin the task that was issued to me. Walking around the clothing department thinking about this task was so arousing. The pounding in my heart, the warm and euphoric sensations building inside of me were overwhelming. i felt so weak just like each step was an affirmation of my desire to serve and to please.  There was also an inner peace inside of my body that was so calm , like i was floating. The task that was issued felt so right that i was always meant to complete this very tribute.
Taking the four items into the dressing room as instructed and then having to wait for a dressing room symbolizes how long i lived with these feelings and did not act on them. Knowing that i was taking an action to own my submissive nature has always been something i longed for and now i was finally claiming my submissiveness.
Sleeping last night and preparing for today was so fulfilling .During that time i thought about how i would undress, how quickly things would happen  and most importantly, if I would get caught what would i do. i knew in my heart and mind that i would never let the possible consequences deter me from completing the task.
As I undressed i did not look in the mirror at first. Knowing that there was a  woman just outside the door and the task i was getting ready to complete, i immediately became aroused. As I began touching me penis, i looked up and began gazing into my own eyes. For the first time in my life, i felt like i was actually seeing me. i was trying to be so quiet but inside i wanted to moan out loudly because i felt liberated and free. It was exciting to know that there were strangers walking by and I was experiencing an event that would change my life forever more.
i ejaculated within a couple of minutes because i was so turned on and I felt a little naughty. i also felt a lifetime of pressure and denial being lifted off me and for the first time in a long time, i felt complete and satisfied. i have not allowed myself to masturbate in over a week so my ejaculation was quick and thick. i was looking into my eyes as i ejaculated and the look on my face was that of perfect satisfaction.  Knowing that i was going to leave my ejaculate on the mirror in the dressing room and just leave was about my own awakening and a tribute to my Task Giver.  After i completed my task , I returned the clothes to the woman at the desk, and walked out of the store.
As i made my way to the front of the store, there was an announcement over the speaker for help with Customer Service Managers. i was wanting to speed up but i did not want to draw attention to myself so i just kept walking. As i exited to door of the store and looked at the video cameras in the parking lot, my heart was pounding out of my chest.  As i got in my car, started it up and took a deep breath, i drove away. Upon leaving the parking lot, i felt the same feelings as when i was looking in the mirror and ejaculating inside the store, of perfect completeness and satisfaction.
my first task feels like a task that was made especially for me. The perfect gift of a Dominant. A Dominant that knew what was best for me and on my submissive journey.
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Anal Training

What is anal training? Training must be done in order to prepare your partner for Anal penetration. This can be done in a variety of ways including preparing alone or with a partner. Since the Anus is a muscle it must be trained to relax. Control must be practiced in order to allow the voluntary muscle to relax and accept penetration.

So back to my question, “What is anal training?” It is the physical and mental training required to participate in safe and pleasurable anal play. To understand the physical, you must first understand how the body works. The first thing to know is that the anus is packed with nerves, and those nerves have the ability to transmit pain, but more importantly, pleasure. This is one of the many reasons that anal sex can be so amazing. The other important fact is that essentially there are two muscles in the anus that work together to make the system work properly. One of those muscles, the one on the inside is an involuntary muscle and you don’t have any control over how that muscle works. The muscle that controls the opening to the Anus is a voluntary muscle meaning you can control that muscle. In fact, we control that muscle every day and we do it without even thinking about it as live our lives and choose when to use the bathroom. These muscles are called sphincters and they work like valves that open and close in order to perform their normal body function.

From a sexual aspect, anal training comes into play when you or your partner manipulate and stretch the exterior muscle by touching or massaging the opening of the anus. This is done so you become comfortable with the sensation of relaxing that muscle and also teaching yourself to control the muscle.

As you become comfortable with the touching and as your body relaxes you can advance a finger or a small toy past the opening of the anus. As you feel the contractions, the muscle will continue to relax and you will be able to advance multiple fingers into the Anus. As with any other muscle the more you work it the more effective it becomes. You can also do Kegels, the contracting and holding motion will also aid in the training process. Like any other muscle that stretches, the contraction will keep you tight and firm.

Anal toys are another great way to allow you gain control of the sensation and muscle control needed in preparation for Anal penetration. One of the most common toys is a butt plug. These plugs come in many sizes, from thin to thick and vary in length. There are several training sets available on sites like Adam and Eve that specifically address Anal training. These kits usually come in small, medium and large. Stay away from the jelly type toys, they can be a breeding ground for bacteria. Glass toys can be fun because they warm to the touch of a body. Another toy that can be fun to play with are Anal beads and for more advanced users, solid steel balls for anal insertion. There are also inflatable toys, steel plungers and speculums that can be used to train your partner. The thing to remember whenever you engaging in Anal training that this should be a positive experience. Inserting a toy into your partner can be dangerous and you must always use great care when exploring this type of activity.

Another thing to remember is the anus does have some lubrication, but it is not directly made for the kind of lubrication you need for anal penetration. It is important to use plenty of lubrication and this will protect the body and the sensitive lining of your anus from tearing and pain. The thing to remember is never to rush because you want your partner to have an amazing experience filled with pleasure.

Equally important is the mental stimulation and comfort of your partner. Part of this preparation is to talk to your partner before, during and after the training. You need to hear from your partner to make sure that pain is not part of this training. If everything is done properly, there should not be pain, only ecstasy. If the largest sex organ in the body is the brain, then it is important that you stimulate and relax your partner. Help your partner relax by deep breathing and showering your partner with gentle caresses.

It may take hours or several training sessions to make your partner ready for anal penetration, but resist the urge to rush. The training process can be as pleasurable as the penetration if done properly and i think it is important to never miss out on pleasure. There is a great pleasure to be shared in the taking the time to ready your partner for a new experience, and this is definitely one of those times. Training your partner is not only a benefit for your partner, but it will help you become more in tune with what your partner feels and needs. It not only listening to their words but the unspoken language of their body.

Anal Desire

During the week leading up to my visit with Her, every thought and minute of my day was consumed with my desire to touch Her. To taste Her sweet breath on my lips and to touch Her warm body. When the time came and She took me up the stairs to Her bedroom, with every step, my desire to hold Her grew deeper. As we undressed and got into Her bed my heart was pounding with anticipation as my hands longed to touch Her. I could not wait to kiss Her, but i felt my hands being drawn from Her beautiful breast to Her Anus. As i caressed the opening and began to relax Her muscles, i put my middle finger inside Her warm ass. She said to put to fingers together and work them inside of Her.

When She told me to put two fingers together and work them inside, my heart was racing. She felt so wet and warm inside, i almost felt like my senses were all confused. For a brief moment, i felt like i could feel the color, and i could see and feel the warm pinkness inside of Her. She was swollen and excited, and as i placed my thumb inside of Her pussy, i could almost feel my fingers touching together.

My penis ached to be inside Her and pleasure Her the same way my fingers pleasured Her. As i moved my finger in and out of Her, I imagined how good She would feel on my penis. i could feel Her fucking my hand as it was inside Her. The feeling never felt so good before, and i was loving it. In my mind i was imagining Her taking on two penises at once, slowly stroking Her wet pussy and ass, until she ejaculated.  It was like my finger and hand became part of her body as She climaxed. The release of Her juices and the movement of Her body was the most amazing experience.

When I pulled my fingers out of Her, all i could think about was wanting to smell and lick my hands and fingers because She felt and smelled so good. I love the way Her body smells when she is aroused, and this was no exception. I am so turned on by all of Her body and i long for it constantly. She is amazing.

my body aches for and craves Her pleasure.

Clitoris

This blog took a while for me to construct, mostly because i didn’t know as much as i thought i did. The amazing thing is that every time i started writing, i found something new and i wanted to learn more. Every article that i read sent me off in a new direction but i always focused on my task. i know i have a stubborn streak that i am working on and sometimes it’s because of a personal flaw, but other times it is my naivety and lack of knowledge. my Dominant has always told me that i need to listen, but during this blog, i came to the realization that meant to more than just her words.

my Dominant gave me the assignment to write about the Clitoris. The hope that She had in my learning about this amazing network was that i would have a better understanding of its function and purpose. Her hope was that the knowledge that i gained would be applied in order to bring Her pleasure. She told me that “by learning about the clitoris,” i would learn all kinds of things that i never took the time to know before. i think once a person gains an understanding of how something works, they become skilled at working with it. i read tons of articles, looked at diagrams, watched videos, and attempted to find one article that i could reference, and here are some of the things that i discovered. Most of the items i am going to write about today can be found in a blog from the Huffington Post, “12 Crazy Amazing Fact About the Clitoris” that was written in 2015. i also want to add that just like with every other lesson, She was correct.

There is more than meets the eye when it comes to the Clitoris. i always just thought of the Clitoris as something i could see, touch and lick. i don’t think i ever had any idea it was a complex and complete system. While i knew that touching the Clitoris brought pleasure to a woman, i never knew to what extent or why. i am a numbers guy so here is an amazing statistic. A woman’s Clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, can i just say WOW? To put that into perspective, the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis and it connects and unlocks the key to an additional 15,000 nerve ending in a woman’s pelvic area. i can’t even imagine what it would be like to have 8 times the sensitivity and pleasure that i already feel; that must be amazing and overwhelming.  Unlike the penis, which serves multiple functions, the Clitoris is special. i have a new appreciation for the Clitoris in that its sole purpose is to bring pleasure to a woman.

It was amazing to learn the fact that when in the womb we were all the same until about the twelvth week of gestation. During that period is the time when our sexual characteristics change and we continue on in our journey to adulthood. i never really thought about it before but essentially the same tissue and system develop into a vastly different presentation as we mature. It was also a new fact to me that the adult Clitoris is just about as big as a penis that is not erect. Just like a penis, it grows with arousal, and the Clitoris can even double in size when aroused. What we see on the outside is only a glimpse of an entire system that is at work increasing her pleasure and sensitivity. i like what Sophia Wallace stated, “the Clitoris is not a button, its an iceberg.”

i find it ironic that most people feel comfortable just calling this a “clit” because i have done that too. The Clitoris is so much more than an abbreviation, it’s not a period, it is more like an exclamation point. It almost feels now when i said “clit” in the past that i was saying that is all i thought it was, kind of short and sweet. The Clitoris is a beautiful and complex, pleasure-giving system that i should have had more respect for and desire to understand. i should have learned more about what makes a Woman work than just relying on what i thought i knew.

i know this assignment was not about creating a medical journal about the Clitoris. i am so excited about the information i discovered, and i feel like i could continue to write for days, but just writing facts and quoting others is not what this was about. This assignment was about being aware and learning about unlocking the potential that exists for my Dominant. This was also about listening not just to Her words, but Her body. Now that i have a better understanding of the Clitoris, i feel like i am better equipped to listen and in turn, please Her. my Dominant deserves to be pleasured, and with this new information, i can’t wait to apply what i have learned.

i am thankful that my Dominant gave me this assignment.

Finger Fucking Her

She was laying there in bed next to me, and i was suckling Her nipples. my fingers gently touched and then stroked Her Labia. She told me not to be afraid as i slid my finger inside Her pussy.  i began stroking her anus, tentatively, and she again assured me that it was okay. As my finger entered into Her ass, i could feel her contractions and pulsations. Forr the first time ever, i was penetrating Her in a most intimate and erotic way.

If that experience was not amazing enough, things only got more intense. I inserted my pointer finger inside Her pussy, and before i knew it, i had two fingers buried inside Her.  She was so tight and wet, and the sensation was incredible. As i began stroking her pussy with both my fingers inside Her, i slipped my ring finger into Her incredibly tight ass.  As i began stroking Her with my fingers, She told me to go deeper.  i pressed my fingers deeper inside of Her and began to finger fuck Her. She rode my hand and as we moved together in a rhythm of unity, She began to masturbate, furiously stroking her clit.

i wanted the feeling and intensity to last forever. For me, it was as satisfying as penetrating Her with my penis. Just knowing that we were both working together to bring Her to orgasm, was amazing. my penis always desires to penetrate Her as that is one of my most treasured gifts, but finger fucking Her left me wanting nothing more. To see the pleasure of my Dominant is truly the greatest joy and desire that i hope to experience.  To feel Her body erupt in pleasure as my fingers were still buried deep in Her ass and pussy was extraordinary. Her body shook with the intensity of 9.8 earthquake on the Richter scale. When i removed my fingers from her body, i could smell Her aromas on my fingers. There is no end to the fascination that i have for Her.

She is authentic, and every thought in Her mind, ever curve of Her body is perfection.  i know that i have so much to still learn from Her, but this was a lesson and sensation that i will always remember.

Apology

i know that i put pressure on my Dominant to become more deeply involved in my life. my desire is to have my Dominant control me but i want to share my life with my Dominant.  i was stubborn and selfish and should not have made any demands on my Dominant.

Before any need or want or desire i have, my purpose is to serve my Dominant. i apologize for not relinquishing control to my Dominant.